Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
