I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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