i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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