We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
