how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
