How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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