we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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