No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
