Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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