I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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