Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize