She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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