i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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