This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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