Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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