She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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