i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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