I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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