I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
