It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
