"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
