so that wasnt chicken after all
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize