Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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