dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
