Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
