Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
