I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
