3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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