So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
