You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sorry about my life...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
