Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
