I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
