Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
