I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
