i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
