He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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