We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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