i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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