I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
