please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
