well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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