not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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