How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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