You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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