so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
its liver damage thursday
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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