How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
