I must be too annoying 4 u.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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