Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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