So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
