Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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