You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need a beard to bite.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
