I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
