tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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