i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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