Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
