Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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