What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
