And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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